My earliest memories remind me of who I was, and who I wasn’t. As long as I can remember my sisters nickname was “sunshine” and mine was (in translation) “the one who goes against the rivers current”. I was supposedly the academic, and she was the musical savant. As years passed, we tried to fit into our boxes, proving our parents right, She agreed, and I argued. She laughed, and I ranted. She received the sugar, and I bathed in vinegar.
My sister is very musical, she can just about hear anything once and sing or play it. Whereas, I would have to practice and practice, she would hear what I practiced and sit down and play it. I envied her for that, however, that made me try harder, and actually learn the notes. Simultaneously, what came easy for me, she became an expert at.
Many years have passed since anyone referred to me by my nickname, but somehow I still adhere to the circumference of that label. Circumference is perhaps the wrong adjective, rather area of the square. My sisters title of “sunshine” hasn’t done her well either. She has given in to dictators psychopaths, and narcissists just to keep the peace. And I, have fought every battle, instead of the war.
Interestingly enough my sister is a brilliant academic, excelling at every challenge, and I, ended up never being able to give up music (no matter how bad I was), loving it more than anything.
I sometimes wonder, what if? What if we hadn’t been categorized so young, and tried to fit into those categories?
